What you do on a weekend in a foreign country?

By Tristan, YES Abroad 2022-2023 student in Bulgaria

I think for a lot of us Americans with a background in a suburban setting, the city can be an exciting place at first. There is always something novel to do: music festivals, markets, restaurants, and the best part – no need for a car. However, to sustain here, one has to inevitably do a lot of work. The reason why Sofia, Bulgaria’s capital, is expanding so much is because it is simply where jobs are. With work being a significant part of life, people are left with little opportunity to communicate and make meaningful connections as well as enjoy moments in between tasks. However, the locals have a way around this.

When the weather is pleasant, many families enjoy traveling to villages during the weekend, and my host family is no different. They own an old villa that is in a continuous renovation process. It almost seems like too much, working in Sofia and then doing manual labor after. However, my host mom and dad find it almost cathartic to go outside, be active, and work on a project they are seriously passionate about. They find manual work therapeutic as it takes their minds off of the constant hustle of city life.

In the city there is a circumstance where one is constantly surrounded by people, but there is almost never meaningful communication, so it is a welcome change that life in the village is ubiquitously social. Getting to the villa utilizes a narrow road, and the road is a social one. It is rude to walk along the road and not greet the other villagers. Once while carrying antiquated baskets and tools an old lady waved us over and began talking about our new old tools. When we parted ways, I was surprised that they didn’t know her, the lady just wanted to talk to someone. You would never see this in Sofia, and this kind of social interaction is almost like being in a smaller American town, where people say “good morning” to each other on the street. Another time, I met a lady with a dog on the street. After talking for a little about why I am here, she invited me to her house and asked one of her kids to show me around the village. I find it pleasing how much trust and hospitality people in Bulgarian villages have. People trust each other to the extent that some leave their car keys in its ignition.

One night we were expecting a couple of guests. Eleven people showed, most of them uninvited, some of them strangers to my host family. Imagine a pastoral picture – my host mom cracking open walnuts that have fallen in the neighborhood, my host dad starting a fire in the fireplace, and me – going through their old cassette tapes of metal music. When our guests came in there was a lot of laughter – most of the talk was in Bulgarian, but some guests had a good understanding of English, so I enjoyed discussing (in English and in broken Bulgarian) living in a foreign country. It is not hard to make friends here, and people are genuinely interested in each other.

Some of our eleven guests.

Gatherings here are impromptu – people meet on the street or call each other at the last moment and organize dinner parties, bonfires and house visits. Rakia seems to be always present with the older generation, it tends to add to their good mood. When I speak in Bulgarian it always takes people by surprise and adds to the cheer. However different in background, language, or experience, people seem to have the same problems, and the same desire to connect – thus if you can connect with people it will be equally rewarding for everyone.

One of the gatherings we were invited to. The soundtrack for the night was the Rolling Stones.

My experiences in Sofia and small Bulgarian villages are different, and they both add to my life as a proper Bulgarian. In villages, there is more trust with people, more gratitude, less rushing, and less worrying. Bulgarians know the importance of taking time off from their jobs, how not to be absorbed in repetitive office work, and I think everyone can learn from them. That is, to take some time to live another way. As Americans, we should realize that we are not bound to the setting we live in, that there is a multiplicity of ways to live, and that we should actively try to change how we spend our time. Just as the Bulgarians showed, a change of lifestyle is beneficial for everyone.

Another bonfire shot.